David Andrew Morgan-Brown (the hyphenator!) was born of a catalysmic force between anti-matter and Brian Molko’s regurgitated Absolut, in the year of 33 AD. This being, which was during this time categorised as a chameleon taking on the appearance of the Hot Coffee mod from San Andreas, wondered the lands of Mars, slaughtered its’ natives, and built a giant Starbucks over the top of it. Unfortunately, this planet was sling-shotted fifty trillion light years away in just seven nanoseconds due to a gravitational pull caused by Gary Busey’s teeth.
This creature, now resembling more a pixallated maebus, then decided to shun off from the world, due to sheer embarrassment. He became sick with shame, and hybernated for four thousand years. Once he got better, he came out and was burnt by the sun, which is what gives him his distinguishable smell of burnt cherries, which attracted the ladies. David engulfed himself in an orgy that lasted nearly three hundred hours, and the only baby that was created from this was born five months later under the name Adolf Hitler. David, now proud of having a son, decided it was time he left the Earth for good, so he travelled to the most popular mental asylum on the planet; Perth, Western Australia.
David now spends his time writing about his feelings, running a dog-walking business, and shitting. He has been married thirteen times, twice to men, four times to hermaphrodites, and once to a parrot. He now currently resides in a cottage made of dried syrup in the middle of the Roe Freeway, where he completely shuts himself off from the world, refusing to even breath. He died suddenly on 25 December 2016, when a crazed gun-man came into his house and successfully wished cancer upon him. The gun-man was involved in a train accident just two days later; his identity is yet to be revealed.
